Just #relax. (Taken with Instagram at The Fly (Avenger Park))
I dreamt about you last night. You and I and friends, in a dark hall, sprayed with light and music. I came across you in the crowd. We danced and laughed. Tipsy spins, a clumsy twirl, a careless hug before a foolish parting.
Then you were gone, lost in that crowd, sprayed with light and laughter.
But you and I, we were so happy in that moment.
Generations of blue eyes.
This is the only picture my family has like this. Three of the five women seen here despise having their pictures taken (the silver fox on the right, especially.) But I am so glad this was captured. I will honestly cherish it.
I’ve always been fanatic about capturing moments in photos. This is my life, unfolding before me, I think, and I have to document it. It also comes from the realization that a picture can be held in your hand, given to others and doesn’t fade as fast as a memory sometimes can. If you lose someone important to you, every picture you have suddenly becomes a piece of them, sometimes among the precious few pieces that remain. So take pictures.
PRECISELY why I stopped reading Cosmo and started reading my roommate’s GQ and Details. According to men’s magazines, guys are interested in exclusive, in-depth interviews with political figures, athletes and celebrities, the latest technologies, current events and trends in fashion, art, food, etc. Men are also funny, apparently. Based on magazines, women, on the other hand, only care about how to please a man, how to look good for a man and how to not get raped.
Observational humor
- A friend sent me these. Pretty sure it’s just a compilation of bits from “it’s funny because it’s true” comedy routines. But it is funny … because it’s true…
I wish my GPS had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly
involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you’re wrong.
I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need
to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with
flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized
that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter
to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap
when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I
will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and
it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did
we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message
boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on
when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just
a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still
the only one who really, really gets it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend’s job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m
trying to finish a text.
Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have
nothing else to say”.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
How many times can you say “What?” before you
just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers!
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.
Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of
tired.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room
has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so
incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this
shouldn’t be a problem….
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing
anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs?
I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure
you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and
it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper
that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the
phone and run away?
